Friendly football focus

14 April 2012
Saturday

Celtic v Arsenal
3pm, Celtic Park
Pre-season form:
Peterborough (a) 0-1, Barnet (a) 0-0, Ritzing (a) 2-2, Austria Vienna (a) 2-0, Besiktas (a) 1-0
Ticket info: www.arsenal.com
Last season's finishing position: 2nd in Premiership
If this was a competitive match it would be dubbed the Battle of Britain, but seeing as it is a friendly it should be called the Tussle of the Tightwads. Both clubs have been conspicuous mostly by their absence in the transfer market this summer - Arsenal's only big signing has been goalkeeper Jens Lehmann. You can bet that Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger will be forced to get out his Patrick Vieira message, which has been played on a permanent loop throughout the summer. Assuming the midfielder still cannot be bothered to pick up a pen to sign another lucrative deal, Wenger will have to say he is hopeful his star man will find the energy before the start of the season. Manchester United have already thrashed Celtic 4-0 this summer and Arsenal know that comparisons will be made with the result tomorrow.
Verdict: BUSINESS AS USUAL FOR ARSENAL

Crystal Palace v Chelsea
3pm, Selhurst Park
Palace pre-season form:
Whyteleafe (a) 6-1, Luton (a) 1-1, PSV Eindhoven (h) 0-1
Ticket info: www.cpfc.co.uk
Last season: 14th in the First Division
Chelsea pre-season form: Lazio (a) 0-2, Malaysia (a) 4-1, Newcastle (a) 0-0
Ticket info: www.chelseafc.com.
Last season: 4th in the Premiership
Chelsea have undergone a few changes since Steve Kember ran their midfield in the early Seventies but none as dramatic as those this summer. To surmise, one bearded oddball has been replaced by another, the main difference being that Roman Abramovich has more roubles to rub together than Comrade Bates.
With Blues manager Claudio Ranieri being linked with late moves for every big name in world football, any attempt at team news is futile but one thing's for sure - Humphrey Bogart is more likely to pull on the blue shirt than Winston Bogarde.
Verdict: CHELSKI SHOW THEIR CLASS

Dagenham v Queens Park Rangers
3pm, Victoria Road
QPR's pre-season form:
Farnborough (a) 0-0, Aylesbury (a) 2-0, Kettering (a) 2-1, Watford (h) 1-2, Worcester (a) 0-0
Ticket info: www.qpr.co.uk
Last season's finishing position: 4th in the Second Division
QPR suffered a blow this week when Australian businessman David Thorne withdrew his offer of a £2 million investment in the club, but an improvement in catering at the Shepherd's Bush Walkabout should get the Brisbane boy back on side. A deal remains possible and Rangers need to tie that Kangaroo down.
Verdict: RANGERS ON A ROLL

Farnborough v Brentford
3pm, Cherrywood Road
Pre-season form:
Reading (h) 3-2, Yeovil Town (a) 0-2, Exeter (a) 0-0, Dorchester (a) 0-1, Staines (a) 2-1
Ticket info: www.brentfordfc.co.uk
Last season's finishing position: 16th in the Second Division
Brentford have had more people on trial than the Old Bailey this summer but so far only one player has made a strong enough case for a contract. Wally Downes is a shrewd judge so fans will be hoping for big things from ex-Harlow Town striker Matt Harrold, who signed a one-year deal last week. More new faces are expected to follow and a fresh set of wanna-Bees will feature tomorrow.
Verdict: HONOURABLE DRAW

Motherwell v Fulham
3pm, Fir Park
Pre-season form:
Torquay (a) 4-1, Celtic (h) 1-2, ASK Voitsberg (a) 4-1, AS Roma (a) 1-2
Ticket info: www.fulhamfc.com
Last season's finishing position: 14th in the Premiership
On the Fulham club record, chairman Mohamed Fayed raps positively about the fact that his club are not Real Madrid. For their pre-season tour of Scotland he could borrow a line from Eminem's Lose Yourself and demand they "snap back to reality". Games against Motherwell and Livingston would not get the adrenaline pumping like a white rapper on stage with a chainsaw. In fact, from the players' point of view they would probably be more excited watching Alan Titchmarsh on stage with some garden shears. But manager Chris Coleman probably reckons that getting their hands dirty at this stage might be just what they need.
Verdict: FULHAM'S SLIM SHADY UP TO THE TEST

Wycombe v Watford
3pm, Adams Park
Pre-season form:
JK Jyvastyka (a) 4-2, MP Mikkeli (a) 4-0, KuPs Kuopio (a) 3-1, Aldershot (a) 3-0, QPR (a) 2-1, Northampton (a) 1-0 Ticket info: www.watfordfc.co.uk
Last season's finishing position: 13th in the First Division
Ray Lewington may be well known for his wheelerdealer skills in the Nationwide League but by the look of his Vicarage Road car lot, the Watford manager is moving up in the world. No longer content with clean, one previous club, players, Lewington is looking to get involved in the luxury market by striking up a partnership with highrollers Manchester United. This summer he has signed forward Danny Webber from Old Trafford in a deal which involved Watford writing off some of the dough they were owed when academy kid Chris Eagles went the other way a few years ago. Young winger Jimmy Davis has also made the trip sarf on a one-season loan and when the campaign starts, Lewington will expect his players to be comfortable at high revs.
Verdict: WATFORD MOVE UP A GEAR

Woking v L Orient
3pm, Kingfield Stadium
Pre-season form:
Millwall (h) 1-2, Barnet (a) 1-1, Charlton (h) 0-5, Spurs XI (h) 0-0
Ticket info: www.leytonorient.co.uk
Last season's finishing position: 18th in the Third Division
Like nervous teenagers on a first date, Orient are prone to clamming up in front of goal. They failed to score against a Spurs XI in midweek and will hope to do better against the more rugged Woking. Chairman Barry Hearn is insisting on promotion this year and, with an inexperienced side, a good start is essential.
Verdict: HARD WORK FOR ORIENT

Friday night

Cardiff v Charlton
7.45pm, Ninian Park
Pre-season form:
Welling (a) 1-1, Colchester 1-1 (a), L Orient (a) 5-0, Peterborough (a) 1-2, Plymouth (a) 2-2
Ticket info: www.charlton-athletic.co.uk
Last season: 12th in Premiership
Not even a multi-million pound joint takeover by Kylie Minogue and the Sultan of Brunei would make Charlton glamorous. While their Premiership rivals have been promoting their brands in the untapped markets of Kuala Lumpur, New York and Cape Town, Charlton have turned the clock back to the Seventies with a refreshingly modest tour of the South-West. Manager Alan Curbishley spotted a great deal on laterooms.com apparently. Unfortunately, Charlton's football has been similarly unambitious and it took two late goals to salvage a draw against Plymouth on Wednesday. More will be needed against Cardiff.
Verdict: CHARLTON GET LUCKY

Grim opponent of the week
By Matt Hughes

Sam Hammam, Cardiff
It's often said that people get the leaders they deserve, and Cardiff City and Sam Hammam appear made for each other. If it wasn't for his oversized sheepskin and well-groomed eyebrows, the former Wimbledon chairman would be the perfect figurehead for their notorious Soul Crew. Why a Lebanese civil engineer, with a penchant for offering camels as incentives to his players, wants to champion the cause of Welsh nationalism is a mystery, but those who've bought into the act should remember the fate of the Dons after he left.

West Ham v PSV
7.45pm, Upton Park
Pre-season form:
Bournemouth (a) 4-0, Atvidaberg (a) 5-2, Djurgardens (a) 0-0, Wycombe (a) 1-3
Ticket info: www.whufc.com
Last season: - 18th in Premiership
West Ham have always suffered from delusions of grandeur - the Academy Of Football, 1966 World Cup winners, all that nonsense - but now is the time to get real. Their fans may welcome a footballing exhibition against Dutch champions PSV Eindhoven but this game is the last thing the team need. Tuesday's 3-1 defeat at Wycombe suggested they may not have worked out what it takes to compete at a lower level and they'd have been better served having the stuffing kicked out of them by a pub side. In case you'd forgotten, the Hammers begin life in the Nationwide, not the Champions League, next Saturday.
Verdict: HAMMERS TAUGHT A LESSON

Sunday

Millwall v So'ton
2pm, The Den
Pre-season form:
Leyton Orient (a) 2-1, Crawley Town (a) 3-0, Farnborough (a) 6-0, Bristol City (h) 1-0
Ticket info: www.millwallfc.co.uk
Last season's finishing position: 9th in the First Division
Mark McGhee could soon be battling with Maureen Lipman for centre stage on telephone adverts if his summer is anything to go by. The Millwall manager may not be as well known as the actress for endorsing slogans such as "it's good to talk" but he has spent enough time on mobiles and landlines trying to get new players. Foreign trialists are becoming the norm at the training ground and there are signs that McGhee's hard work is paying off, but he is up against it to get the four or five players in that he wants before the League season starts next week.
Verdict: STRACHAN SHOWS NO SYMPATHY

Tottenham v PSV
3pm, White Hart Lane
Pre-season form:
Stevenage (a) 2-0, Wycombe (a) 3-2, Oxford (a) 3-0, Norwich (a) 3-0, Orlando Pirates (a) 1-2, Kaizer Chiefs (a) 2-0
Ticket info: www.spurs.co.uk
Last season's finishing position: 10th in the Premiership
Tottenham returned from their African adventure with some excess baggage and Spurs fans will get their first chance to view Mbulelo Mabizela in Sunday's friendly. The South African defender wants to be the new Lucas Radebe so he would be well advised to introduce himself to physio Alasdair Beattie and the Spurs medical staff. Tottenham will play few sides this year who don't include a player they have been linked with over the summer and PSV Eindhoven are no exception. Mateja Kezman and Mark van Bommel can show Glenn Hoddle just what he missed out on.
Verdict: DUTCH MASTERED

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