For some inexplicable reason, swathes of pundits and football fans have forgotten the force that drives football fandom: petty tribalism.
This has led to some ludicrous suggestions that Tottenham should move heaven and earth to beat, or at least draw with, Manchester City tonight.
The upshot of this would be Spurs effectively delivering the Premier League crown to their most detested rivals. It is hard to tell whether those making the case for Spurs doing the unthinkable are doing so in good faith, but if we suppose they are, their arguments for it fall into two camps.
The first of these is if Spurs win, they keep alive their remote chances of qualifying for the Champions League.
If we meekly lay down to let City stroll to another title, that means I win
Everyone is familiar with the benefits of the Champions League: extra money, which allows for greater investment in the squad, plus the draw to the best players — despite what Ange Postecoglou might say — who want to test themselves against Europe's best. The second reason is the more conniving of the two. It chooses to put aside the bitterness of the rivalry and instead draw on the parallels between the two north London clubs.
If you allow yourself to be drawn in, it objectively makes sense: two clubs taking a chance on a manager unproven in the Premier League; two clubs whose strategies for success consist of squad building over a number of seasons; two clubs organically growing their revenue streams, not reliant on sovereign wealth funds. Once you find yourself nodding along, they've got you, because it could be you next time. There should be a kinship for teams that are doing it 'the right way'. We're not cutting corners, we're the good guys.
From the outside, this all seems very compelling, but it is completely powerless in the face of a football fan's most overwhelming need to ensure your rivals only endure disappointment.
I want to stroll into the office and give a little wink to my Gooner colleagues, even though we finished more than 20 points behind them, because we meekly lay down to let City stroll to another title, and that means I win.
The idea of having to endure a lifetime of taunts for being their handmaidens when they still haven't shut up about winning the league at the Lane is enough to make any right-minded Spurs fan pack it all in forever. This simply cannot be allowed to happen.
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City may be causing irreparable damage to English football — but it's cheap at twice the price if it means Arsenal don't win the league
I would rather we finish bottom on zero points if it meant stopping that lot winning the league.
City, for all their (potential 115) ills, act as an essential buffer between our torment and that lot's ecstasy.
Sure, City are potentially causing damage to the competitiveness of English football, which may be irreparable, and the game we grew up loving could well be lost forever to the unyielding desire of lucre and soft power — but it's cheap at twice the price if it means Arsenal don't win the league.
