They've gone to the gallows, but gruesome twosome Keys and Gray will take some replacing

11 April 2012

The gallows speech is a great thing. We don't hear too many of them these days but the merest glance through the annals of history will show you some zingers.

Charles I was poetic: "I go from a corruptible to an incorruptible Crown; where no disturbance can be, no disturbance in the World." John Wayne Gacy waxed profane: "Kiss my ass".

Richard Keys this week gave the modern equivalent of the gallows speech: a pre-resignation mea culpa.

He rattled on for an hour of radio time, protesting his regret at the whole sexism furore and casting barbs at the "dark forces" of the media and, by inference, the Murdoch/News Corp hierarchy, which decided this week as a man that the curtain - or rather the guillotine - must now fall on Keys' long career at Sky Sports.

You got the unmistakeable sense as Keys gave that interview that he already knew he was a dead man. His mate, Andy Gray, had been taken out and shot. His masters had washed their hands of him. And the channel had moved on, without a second glance, promoting David Jones to Keys's place on Monday night, while making no mention of the gruesome twosome, and no on-air apology.

So now they're gone and Sky Sports enters a new phase. It has severed a cord with its past. The days of stripey blazers and the Sky Strikers are now consigned firmly to the compost heap of history, along with the embarrassing blatherings of the two men most closely associated with them.

How Sky replaces its two most prominent and bankable presenters will be closely scrutinised. Whatever you think of the way Keys and Gray left, they carried weight on the Sky Sports channels and their Super Sunday and Monday Night Football gigs will require reliable, proven faces to make them work.

There have been plenty of names bandied about in the last 48 hours. The one I have heard most is that of Jake Humphrey, the well-liked BBC man, who does the Formula One these days but has some previous with the Beeb's football coverage.

But my information is that Ben Shephard is the leading candidate for the job. He was paid decent money to come to the network; he is on a work-as-directed contract, which means that he can be used wherever his bosses like, and there is a feeling that he would work well as a double act with Jamie Redknapp, who ought to be the
favourite to assume Andy Gray's old position.

Shephard and Redknapp: it's certainly not one from the leftfield but it's a young, bankable, safe, inoffensive, good-looking double act. You might have said that about Keys and Gray 20 years ago (okay, maybe not the good-looking bit in Gray's case).

These two new men would just be 21st Century reboots, with a bit more moisturiser-and-cardigan, heteropolitan appeal.

But whither the women? Given the nature of their disgrace, there are plenty who think that the new candidate for Keys's job should be a woman. Well, we can probably assume that despite the current woe going down at West Ham, Karren 'Do Me A Favour, Love' Brady doesn't fancy a transfer from the boardroom to the boot room.

And, in fact, I wouldn't bet on Sky hiring any big, marquee female signing to its team: the pressure on the incomer would be too much and the scrutiny would only prolong the Gray/Keys story.

Rather, I'd put money on a promotion for Georgie Thompson, another bankable, veteran star of the channel who deserves a promotion from the newsroom to the gantry.

Expect to see her move into a Champions League midweek slot if Shephard steps up to Mondays and weekends, with a bit more prominence for Jones and another Sky Sports News stalwart, Simon Thomas.

Boring? You betcha. But this is the age of austerity. Why spray the £2million-plus salaries saved on ditching your ageing stars, when you can promote from your youth team and be sure that you know who you're dealing with.

If you want a footballing analogy, look at Manchester United in 1995-96. "You'll never win anything with kids," said one pundit, back then. He wasn't on Ford Super Sunday.

Football chiefs mess it up again

If you think the English FA are a bunch of preposterous, cockeyed jokers, then spare a thought for Lionel Messi, condemned to play under an even more absurd lot in Spain. Messi scored a penalty against Racing Santander last weekend and displayed a T-shirt wishing his mum a happy birthday. Thus he was fined '2000-3000' for excessive goal celebrations. What a bunch of weasel-minded nincompoops the footballing authorities can be - in any language and any league in the world. A plague on 'em all.

Distinct lack of cheer at Super Bowl XLV

Sounds like the spirit of sexual propriety has crossed the Atlantic at remarkable pace. Next weekend's Super Bowl XLV looks set to be devoid of gallivanting flopsies . . . erm, I mean, empowered female support dancers. (Obviously.) Neither the Green Bay Packers nor the Pittsburgh Steelers, who contest the jewel of the American sporting calendar next Sunday, have a troupe of cheerleaders to bring along. A victory in the battle against chauvinism? Or a sorry state of affairs? You decide.

I've got a special mission for Jose

Jose Mourinho, with his itchy feet and disagreeable nature, is now hankering for a move back to the Premier League from Real Madrid, as soon as next season. "I have no preference about Manchester United, Manchester City or Chelsea, I just want to rediscover the joy," said the Special One. Come back, Jose! I like the idea of him annoying the hell out of Fergie by winning the Premier League twice with Man City, before moving across town to United and returning the favour. You know it makes sense.

Gatland banishes soft side in nick of time

Lovely to see Warren Gatland back on his most combative form with just a week to go before the RBS Six Nations begins. He has seemed a bit soft for the last couple of seasons but is now giving every sign that he wants to needle both the Wales squad and everyone they come up against. Expect the barbs at players like Dylan Hartley to ramp up this week. Despite the ever-lengthening injury list, Wales v England in Cardiff is set to be a cracker.

Follow me on Twitter @dgjones

Create a FREE account to continue reading

eros

Registration is a free and easy way to support our journalism.

Join our community where you can: comment on stories; sign up to newsletters; enter competitions and access content on our app.

Your email address

Must be at least 6 characters, include an upper and lower case character and a number

You must be at least 18 years old to create an account

* Required fields

Already have an account? SIGN IN

By clicking Create Account you confirm that your data has been entered correctly and you have read and agree to our Terms of use , Cookie policy and Privacy policy .

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged in