Football Notebook

Martin Chilton13 April 2012

Until England's hopes go down the Svenny and the inevitable postfailure backlash starts, Eriksson is being used to sell all sorts of stuff.

Mr Motivator knows when to sit on fence

There's no musical CD with Leadership the Sven-Goran Eriksson Way: How To Turn Your Team Into Winners by Julian Birkinshaw and Stuart Crainer (Capstone, £12.99) but there are a lot of dull charts and diagrams. The book is full of psychological titbits (think Forrest Gump - life-is-like-a-box-of chocolates) but the authors go off at a number of strange tangents.

? Sven rejected a career at "damp and unfashionable" Blackburn because of the cultural difficulties.

? They criticise Laurent Blanc - "He is slow and slowing and he appears unkempt with his socks falling down and unruly hair".

Sadly, the chapter entitled the Dark Side of Simplicity was not a revealing account of the Neville Brothers but instead contained more little pep pills about "leading paradoxically".

Sven has obviously been a master at sidestepping controversy and saying the right thing for some time - even talking up Peru's chances of winning the 2006 World Cup during a photoshoot with Paddington Bear.

As the book recalls: "During the 1994 World Cup in America, a Swedish television channel recruited Eriksson to offer some of his insights.

"When it comes to football, Eriksson is effusive and insightful as you would expect. The television company salivated at the prospect of bringing Sweden's brightest and most erudite young coach alongside the legendary comentator Arne Hegerfors. In conversation with Hegerfors, Eriksson was analytical perfection. Then the microphone was switched on. Eriksson's analytical style was transformed. Platitudes replaced insights. Instead of voicing opinions, Eriksson sat on the fence. Diplomacy ruled."

However, the best line in the book, and one Notebook hopes Sven endorses fully, is about our non-World-Cup-appearing Tartan foes. "At least the Scots have realistic expectations - they expect to lose - and dedicate themselves to alcoholic pleasures and exposing their genitals to foreigners."

ITV Digital yet to get a grip

They were even in the news after reports of David Beckham's foot injury. When the Manchester United star was first injured in the away match in Deportivo, England coach Sven-Goran Eriksson had left the match early and could not understand the Spanish radio commentator to gauge how bad the injury was

In desperation he rang Tord Grip back in England. "How bad is Beckham?" Alas Tord could not help him. He didn't have an ITV Digital box. Still, there's always the late highlights.

Builder Bob's hard labour

Now the Government is taking such a close interest in the new Wembley it's interesting to note that Bob the Builder, a construction expert, is also a Labour Party donor.

More stick for Tigana

Early bath for 'blue' linesman

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