My London: Sebastian Faulks

The novelist shops at Lutyens & Rubinstein in Notting Hill and, given the chance, would donate the Olympic Stadium to Nigel Farage
Katherine Anne Rose / Observer
8 November 2018

Home is…

A Victorian terrace in west London with my wife, Veronica, and whichever of our children is passing through.

Best place for a first date?

Curzon Mayfair and the L’Artiste Muscle on Shepherd Market. Worked for me.

Bus, taxi or Tube?

I use the Central line. Foul but fast. There are far too many buses. I like black cabs for efficiency, Uber for cost and Addison Lee for neither.

If you could buy any London building, which would it be?

The National Gallery. I’d remodel the Sainsbury Wing so the pictures are not shown in the dingy underground toilets but in the airy gift shop and cloakroom, which are the only decent spaces.

The National Gallery
Alamy Stock Photo

Most memorable meal?

The Standard Indian restaurant in Westbourne Grove was the best food I’ve had in London. I went there almost every week for more than 30 years. Then one day it had just shut down.

Biggest extravagance?

Poppadoms. You don’t really need five a head.

Where would you like to be buried?

There’s a plot at the bottom of the garden that I’ve got my eye on. I don’t actually want to be buried in London. I’d like to be cremated (when dead) and have my ashes scattered over Hawthorn Ridge on the Somme battlefield.

Best thing a cabbie has said to you?

One called me ‘young man’ the other day.

What makes someone a Londoner?

Knowing that if you live anywhere else you’re just not trying.

Who do you call when you want to have fun?

Simon Delaney, TV director and legendary funmeister. Tony Quinn, author, epicure, wit.

Most iconic Londoner?

John Keats, obviously. Born Moorgate, 1795. I would like to say Bobby Moore, too, but wasn’t he born in Barking? Does that count?

Bobby Moore is one of Sebastian Faulk's iconic Londoners
Getty Images

What would you do if you were Mayor for the day?

I would ban all basement digging-out; I would have a second EU referendum and declare London an Independent Remaining State. I would move West Ham United back to the Boleyn Ground and donate the Olympic Stadium to Mr Farage, Mr Rees-Mogg and Mr Johnson to run round in circles until they dropped.

The novelist would give the Olympic Stadium to Nigel Farage
Shutterstock / BBA Photography

Which shop do you rely on?

Lutyens & Rubinstein on Kensington Park Road — the best independent bookshop in town.

Where do you go to let your hair down?

My wine cellar.

‘Paris Echo’ by Sebastian Faulks is out now (£20, Hutchinson)

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