10 people you're bound to see during the London Tube strike

From the smug cyclist to the clingy Tinder date that insists on sleeping over
AFP/Getty Images

London is a city that knows how to adapt, and today’s Tube strike is a case in point. We’ve been thrown off course by industrial action on Southern rail, and now disruption on the Tube is forcing us to be even more resourceful. Every day, 4.8 million journeys are made on the Underground and everyone has their own strike style. Which tribe are you?

The Str-yclist

How do you know if someone is a str-yclist? They tell you. These positive spinners wax lyrical about how the Tube is out of action for a reason — to make them finally get on their bikes. They wrap up in fleecy, box-fresh kit, and their expressions are a mix of endorphin-fuelled joy and disbelief that they made it into the office on two wheels. Proper bike commuters rue them — they cause carnage on the roads, wobbling around and stopping to check their routes (check website BikeTheStrike to avoid this). They say they have been reborn as cyclists, but when the Tube starts working again they are the first back on it.

The Boozehound

A Tube strike is a bit like a bank holiday — you will spend a lot of time outdoors and/or on a rail-replacement bus. The Boozehound sees this as an opportunity to champion another great bank-holiday tradition: drinking. They fuel their walks home with gins in tins and break up the journey by lining up a pint or two with friends en route.

The Shirkers

Commuters queue at Clapham Junction during a tube strike
Stefan Wermuth/Reuters

These canny operators present their arguments with a reasonable smile, saying: “It’ll take me hours to make it to the office — far more efficient for everyone if I work from home.” Then it turns out they live on a train route and don’t even take the Tube normally. You’d admire their cunning opportunism if you hadn’t spent hours crammed into a slow-moving bus to get to work while they lay in bed eating cheese.

The Show-off

Tube-strike day is an excuse to turn an esoteric hobby into a commute — and boy, has this show-off been talking about it. They’ll Instagram a few pics: stroking their new Segway or hoverboard (#greasingthewheels), hopping through the streets (“preparing to #beatthestrike”). On strike day itself they will be late after being stopped by a police officer for reckless behaviour.

The Tactical Tinderer

Tube strikes really salt the game of the pro-dater — much of which relies on “missing” the last Tube and needing a place to “stay”. They’ll suggest somewhere central for the rendezvous, buy loads of rounds, taking advantage of the commercial opportunists who use the strike to offer deals (“It’ll be easier to get home if we go a bit later, miss the rush”) and look “crestfallen” when they realise their phone has run out of battery and they can’t use Citymapper to get home. The Tinderer always stays over. A few weeks later you’ll discover that they live around the corner.

The Political Animals

Strikes are an excuse for a Facebook rant. Prepare for your newsfeed to become ragey: links to articles about Corbyn unionising the Oyster cards and “Blitz spirit”. It’s either a good stock of reading matter while you’re stuck on the bus or a reason to de-friend.

Tube strike chaos

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The Survivalist

Their mantra is that there’s no such thing as Tube-strike chaos, only poor planning. They won’t allow anything to derail them, even if that means leaving the house at 5am to beat the rush, weighed down with supplies in case of delays and downloading every travel app they can find.

The Oblivious

What Tube strike? Some Londoners rely on their own steam to get to work, or go on the Overground, buses or even the cable car. Don’t expect sympathy from them. They’ll just tell you they’ve never needed the Tube, then grumble about all the extra passengers on their train.

Dominic Lipinski/PA

The Mini-breaker

If you live in Zones 1 or 2 you’ll have been contacted by a mini-breaker on Monday afternoon, pitching their imposition on your time and personal space as fun. “We’ll have dinner, make a night of it,” they trill as if you’ve won the jackpot (Their company! All night! And the next morning!). They’ll turn up with a bottle of red and a bag of Kettle Chips and finish most of them. The next morning they will mess with the equilibrium of your routine by taking the bathroom at the wrong time. As they leave they’ll make a joke about wishing they could stay with you every week. You worry that they mean it.

The Uber Race

A triumph of hope over reality. Received wisdom has it that successful people outsource their transport concerns by taking taxis. In fact, the Tube strike means surge-pricing and gridlocked roads. You might be sitting down and avoiding a crowded bus but it will cost you time and money to get to work — if you get there at all.

Follow Susannah Butter on Twitter: @susannahbutter

Follow Phoebe Luckhurst on Twitter: @phoebeluckhurst

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