Does milk cure hangovers? The science behind the remedies that actually work

Exercise, ibruprofen or a glass of semi-skimmed? There's a science to the most effective cures for a heavy night, says Susannah Butter
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Being a lash-baron has consequences. If you are approaching December correctly, you will understand what Kingsley Amis meant when he described a hangover as a “vast, vague, awful, shimmering metaphysical superstructure”. There is no time to waste messing around with nonsense cures, suggested by some sage who swears their niche method handed down for generations will stop your heart “beating like a f***ed clock”, as seen in Withnail and I. In a recent experiment, mice were given a molecule called cytokine, which your body produces more of when you drink alcohol, and it all went wrong — adult males refused to socialise and mothers displayed “impaired nest-building”. So which of these mythical cures are worth trying and which will only prolong the misery?

Salami

The boozehounds at Serious Pig in Peckham say that their new high-protein sausage snack with added chilli and ginger will be your friend in the battle against nausea and fatigue. Nutritionist and founder of The Urban Kitchen Toral Shah acknowledges that protein helps but says the amount of it in salami is “negligible”. “It does have high levels of fat, which will slow down alcohol absorption and make you feel better, and the salt will encourage you to drink more water. But it isn’t a magic cure.”

Milk

A night on the White Russians may mean less of a hangover because they contain milk. Nutritionist Ian Marber says: “Milk last thing at night might help replace lost minerals,” while Shah adds: “Milk contains a protein called casein, which can counteract alcohol and aid sleep.”

It isn’t the best source of minerals, though, says Marber. “Ideally you need something with a little more fat and fibre. Try a handful of walnuts and an apple, or nut butter on a cracker or piece of toast instead.”

Prairie Oysters

If a cocktail of raw egg, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, salt and ground black pepper doesn’t sound appealing, that’s because it isn’t proven to cure a hangover. Marber says: “It is hard to pinpoint the mechanism by which this might work. Hot sauce might increase the metabolism briefly, which could help combat fatigue, but salt would simply add to dehydration.”

A fry-up

An excellent fast fix, according to Marber, who says: “It’s usually the carbs in a fry-up or bacon sandwich that raise blood glucose levels so that one feels better, albeit briefly, more than any fat content. Eating some protein with the carbs will provide longer-term energy so that the relief is more sustained.”

A kebab

Go for a chic kebab and you will feel like a king or queen. Shah says: “Increasing protein and nutrient levels is good for hangovers, so if you pick one with nice, lean meat and salad it could help. If you have an empty stomach, alcohol goes into your bloodstream really fast and you dehydrate quickly, so eating is a good idea as it slows down the absorption, and your blood sugar won’t drop as dramatically.”

Painkillers

Noel Jackson, head of education at the Life Science Centre in Newcastle, a chemist by training and after-hours mixologist, says paracetemol before bed can stop a headache before it starts. He advocates it over ibuprofen because that can be an irritant when mixed with alcohol. The next day, Shah says do take ibuprofen because it reduces inflammation.

Water

Jackson says that “the majority of problems caused by drinking are due to dehydration”, but don’t worry about adding rehydration salts — water on its own should do the job. Shah suggests mixing your drinks with some coconut water for potassium, and birch water, which contains magnesium.

Orange juice

It helps raise your blood glucose level, which can offset the symptoms of a hangover, according to Marber.

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Bananas

Shah’s hangover cure of choice is a high-protein banana pancake. “Bananas are good because they are full of potassium. Eating one before bed is an idea because it starts working faster. Putting them in a pancake with slow release carbs helps and a bit of honey gives an energy boost.” Jackson adds that they “help to restore the electrolyte balance across your nerves”.

Coca-Cola

Shah is sceptical: “I only use it to clean the toilet. The sugar might make you feel better, if you think it will, and the caffeine will perk you up, but it is a diuretic so make sure you drink water too.”

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Salt-and-vinegar crisps

Alcohol dehydrates you, which means you lose body salt. Shah says this is why many people crave salty food, to replenish stocks.

A run

If you can bear it, Jackson says: “Anything that gets the body metabolising will help clear up the aftermath quicker but heavy exercise will cause dehydration, which will make matters worse.”

Bloody Mary

Eating fruit and veg makes you feel virtuous, and tomato juice contains potassium. Jackson recommends a Virgin Mary: “Alcohol of any form may have a very short–term ameliorative effect but in the long run it just adds to the problem. You may drink to forget but when you get around to remembering again it will be much worse.”

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