Charlize Theron: ‘I’m in a relationship with myself’

The actress opened up about her response when one of her children told her, 'you need a boyfriend' 
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Marissa Desantis31 July 2020

Charlize Theron may be an Academy Award-winning actress, but the role she says she values most is that of being a mother.

Speaking on fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg’s podcast, InCharge With DVF, Theron opened up about her childhood with an abusive father and the importance she has always placed on being a mother.

Particularly, the 44-year-old noted that she wanted to set an example for her young daughters, Jackson and August. “Two days ago, I was in the car with my two girls, and my little one said something like, ‘You need a boyfriend,’” Theron recalled to Furstenberg.

Charlize Theron at the 2020 Academy Awards
Getty Images

“And I said, ‘Actually, I don’t right now, I feel really good.’ And I was like, ‘I am in a relationship. I’m in a relationship with myself right now,’” the Bombshell actress said.

“There’s so much stigma around all of that stuff - this idea that somehow women fail when they’re not in relationships. Or that somehow it’s their fault; that they must be incredibly difficult, that’s why no man wants to touch them,” Theron went on to explain.

“And I hope that we’re raising a generation of young girls who realize that there is absolutely no shame in that game to be in a relationship with yourself. To not fall into what society kind of predicts for us as what is socially acceptable - if you are not in a relationship, somehow you’re a failure. Those are all constructs that we need to change,” she said.

Charlize Theron with daughter, Jackson, and then-boyfriend, Sean Penn, in 2015
Getty Images

“I remember two days ago, just looking back in the rearview mirror and seeing my little five-year-old’s face - her mind was blown,” Theron added of her younger daughter, August. “But I know that that was the day that she realized there’s a different possibility.”

Earlier in the interview, the South African-born actress told Furstenberg that being a mother had been something she knew she wanted from a young age. “I didn’t have any siblings, and my mom has a letter that I wrote her when I was eight years old. And in the letter I ask her if we could - for Christmas - go to an orphanage to adopt a brother or a sister for me,” she shared, adding she had always felt “connected” to adoption.

“My mom, when I went through my first adoption, actually showed me the letter,” said Theron, who adopted her first child, Jackson, in 2012.

Charlize Theron at the 2020 SAG Awards (Getty Images )
Getty Images

“I always knew that I wanted to be a mother. It was also this thing in my relationships that was kind of like the make it or break it,” Theron added. “I was very transparent to all of my partners, and if that was not something that was important to them, then I couldn’t continue a relationship because being a mother was one of the most important things for me.”

But just as she hopes to teach her daughters important lessons about independence and self-worth, Theron shared they are teaching her lessons, too.

“My children kind of came to me in this unexpected way where I didn’t know I was going to be the mom to two African American girls,” she said. “I didn’t know I was going to be the mom to an African American trans girl. All of these things have made me more aware of how little I know. My children have completely reopened my eyes to the world.”

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