The future King and Kate Middleton: The engagement that never was

Hounded: But Kate takes it in her stride
13 April 2012

Two weeks ago Patrick Jephson, Princess Diana's former private secretary, wrote an article in the sedate Spectator magazine on what advice his old boss might have given to Kate Middleton.

As Jephson himself confessed, it was entirely speculative but it was written on the premise that an engagement announcement might be imminent and sold on the front page with the headline 'The Next People's Princess'.

More here:

• William calls for paparazzi to 'stop chasing Kate'

• The battle to protect birthday girl Kate

Its appearance seemed to light the blue touch paper for an explosion of expectation to which even the broadsheet Press contributed: William and Kate were surely about to get engaged! It had to be true!

It was Kate's misfortune that her 25th birthday fell on Tuesday, and the possibility that the young Prince might appear on bended knee was just too much for the paparazzi, who massed outside Kate's smart London flat.

Result: another firestorm of controversy over whether Kate should be subjected to such pressure.

Yet Kate herself remained utterly inscrutable: not a hint of comment passed her rosebud lips, which were shaped in a knowing smile.

She has already acquired the Royal habit of giving nothing away.

What then, is the truth about Kate and William's relationship, and where it is heading?

The answer can be truly understood only when it is seen for what it is: a love affair of the 21st Century, unlike any other Royal romance.

To see it through the prism of Charles and Diana's relationship which, in social terms, took place on another planet, is to utterly misread it.

So let us begin with some facts. First is that William has told his family and friends he has no plans to get married for 'at least two years'.

The Prince, who began his military career as a second lieutenant with the Blues and Royals regiment last week, told his father and the Queen of his intentions at the Royal Family's New Year celebrations at Sandringham.

And Willam has since told friends in London, only half jokingly, that his younger brother Harry will marry his girlfriend Chelsy Davy before William proposes to Kate, his girlfriend of four years.

Insiders say William is unfailingly gracious to his advisers at Clarence House, but possesses a steely determination to do what he wants, when he wants, particularly with regard to any wedding.

Nothing - not the Establishment, nor the Royal Family, nor the weight of public expectation - is going to drive this Prince to the altar before he's ready.

But such resolve has had Royal planners reaching for the headache tablets.

Courtiers had already prepared a 'grid' of possible wedding dates for William and Kate, an exercise that jeopardised the already strained relationship between Clarence House and Buckingham Palace, which insists the Queen's diamond wedding anniversary in November should be the main Royal event of the year.

There are also other possible weddings in the offing - Harry and Chelsy, Zara Phillips and Mike Tindall - and none of these would be allowed to get in the way of the orgy of royalism William's wedding might provoke.

The courtiers strongly counselled William that the best way to protect Kate from the paparazzi was to bring her into the protected world of "The Firm', and that that could be achieved only by announcing their engagement.

William is said to have listened intently to their advice then told them that he would not be pressured into marriage by the Army, the Palace or the Press.

He said that at 24-years-old and about to start his first proper job, he didn't feel ready to settle down - nor see the need to do so.

This determination was only strengthened by the hordes of cameras outside Kate's home.

William, who watched his mother hounded to her grave, has an understandable horror of paparazzi. Any doubts he may have harboured were banished by the thought of being dictated to by them.

The finality of William's decision has left Clarence House in a 'state of flux', according to senior aides.

"Kate is deemed an entirely appropriate partner for William and all plans were in place for a Royal engagement," a source told The Mail on Sunday.

"But they have been told there will be no announcement - and chances are there won't be until after the summer at least."

No wonder the aides don't quite know how to handle all this. Unlike Charles and Diana - and any other first-division Royals - William and Kate are able to develop their relationship in a very modern way. Yes, they are committed to each other but see no obligation to get engaged.

That is not to say they are casual about their relationship. Despite William's insistence that, like most of his contemporaries at Eton, St Andrews University and the Army, he will not consider marriage until his late 20s, he and Kate are said by those who know them to be very much in love.

And, like any couple, they have spats. The Prince's last-minute decision to spend Christmas and New Year with his grandmother at Sandringham, rather than with Kate and her family in Perthshire, provoked an anguished series of phone calls from Kate to William.

Then, last week, William chose not to join his girlfriend on her birthday; and he is also unlikely to be granted leave on Valentine's Day, leaving Kate on her own once again.

Sources close to William say he wanted to be with his family over Christmas to discuss important issues before beginning his Army career in earnest.

Meanwhile, Prince Charles helped broker a compromise with those at Clarence House who argued strongly that Kate Middleton should be brought inside The Firm by agreeing to pay for a driver and car from his own income, in much the same way he did for Camilla Parker Bowles during their courtship.

The Royal household has no real protocols for long-term girlfriends, who cannot be given state-funded bodyguards or allowed to live in apartments in one of the Royal palaces.

However, in Camilla's case Charles arranged for a recently retired police officer from the Royal protection squad to be her driver and act as her unofficial bodyguard.

The same arrangement for Kate will help avoid further anguish about the effect of the paparazzi, and repudiate the view that the Palace is leaving her out on a limb.

A friend of William's said: "As far as William is concerned, he and Kate are fine. He has made his commitment to her and they are as good as engaged. She has a smile on her face because she knows she will marry William, but neither of them is in a hurry to get engaged.

"Kate has not found it easy having photographers on her doorstep day and night. The reason she's still smiling is that her family are supportive and the Middleton mantra is: "Grin and bear it."

"But that doesn't stop William being concerned about Kate. He has been very apologetic about what she has had to put up with and has veered between bafflement and anger that the engagement issue has spiralled out of control.

"He's also aware that he and Kate are in a difficult position. They're hoping the engagement question is going to die down, but that's very unlikely and they know it.

"It's not the same as it was at St Andrews when they could enjoy their relationship in relative anonymity.

"William is not stupid and he knows it's not going to go away, but he is headstrong. He really wants to make a success of his Army career and is already regarded by senior officers as an excellent soldier.

"William has made it clear he has many unfulfilled career ambitions. He wants to learn to fly a helicopter and has said he would like to join the Army Air Corps.

"He also wants Kate to have her own life and a job and enjoy it."

But, as The Mail on Sunday revealed two weeks ago, William had been told in no uncertain terms that he could not expect Kate to travel with him on Army time or stay with him on Army bases until they were married.

There will be long periods of separation, but they will not get married just because of that either.

There is, of course, a precedent that privately haunts some Royal aides and explains their keenness to nail down a date: they fear William might have met the right woman at the wrong time; that Kate could be his Camilla.

One source said: "There is a genuine fear that William has met his perfect match but, in his stubbornness not to be pinned down and make an honest woman of her, Kate will move on.

"They've been together for four years and no one knows how long Kate will stay in a relationship where she's waiting for William to propose. It's hardly the easiest or most normal of courtships."

But last night a close friend of Kate insisted she would wait. "She knows William won't be hurried. She knows not to push him. If truth be told, she would like their relationship to be cemented with a proposal but she won't pressurise him and she's not in such a hurry herself."

She also has her own family to consider, including her mother Carole who is thought by some to be very keen, perhaps overly so, about the prospect of marriage.

"Kate's quite career-orientated and wants to have a good run at working before she settles down," said her friend.

"She sees the next step as her career, not marriage, although there's no doubt that ultimately marriage is what she wants.

"If they can survive this current pressure they can survive anything. Kate has been well briefed for all this attention.

"William is a huge support and has taught her how to deal with it. Like him, she's very practical. She's calm and measured and not at all hysterical.

"She just gets on with it because that's the sort of girl she is. There's no fuss. I'm sure William and Kate will marry one day because they are so suited, they're very normal together.

"At St Andrews they loved nothing more than sitting in watching DVDs and ordering pizza.

"They enjoy a very understated relationship. Last Christmas, for example, William bought Kate a pair of binoculars and she bought him a pair of brogues. That's the sort of relationship they have.

"They are best friends and complete soulmates. It helps that she is very close to his friends, that makes it easier when they're not together."

And to their credit, Kate and William are still able to view the "Will they, won't they?' speculation with detached amusement.

"Last week was a bit much, but in the end, they just added another tick to the wallchart they keep of how many times the Press predict an engagement," said Kate's friend. "They found that hilarious.

"From now on, though, they know that people will expect a proposal every time they go away or every time there's a birthday - and to an extent that's true of Kate too. She will be waiting for it but she knows not to push him."

There could not be greater contrast with the agonies that preceded Charles and Diana's engagement and the maelstrom of doubt and duty in which it finally happened.

William and Kate are simply a very modern couple - and for the Monarchy, that is perhaps the best news of all.

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