London's coffee trends: what to drink and where to drink it

Coffee. The made-from-suspicious-freeze-dried-granules sort has been all but stamped out in London, and that's no bad thing – if we wanted to drink watery mud we'd go swimming in the Thames.

But in a reaction against crap coffee, London's caffeinated connoisseurs appear to have swung in the opposite direction – to ultra-fetishised cups. It's now all about ordering a stumpy or a cortado, calculating drip rates, cold-brewing, nano-roasting and aeropressing your beans.

If your cup of Joe doesn't come with tasting notes, you've missed a trick and only those who are either totally cocky or a wee bit mad would go into an independent coffee shop and dare to order a straight filter coffee (what you really want is a short black).

Whatever you do, don't ever, EVER, admit you don't know a latte from a café con leche – you're likely to be met by smirks of disdain from the baristas and advised to go round the corner to the nearest Starbucks.

For those floundering in this froth of ever-changing coffee options, here's our guide to everything you ever wanted to know about coffee in London, but were too afraid to ask.